Forgive Me

Forgiveness can be a hard thing. It's made even harder when we feel truly and deeply wronged. Our hearts hurt, and we don't want to let the other person off the hook for having done the damage.

Today's gospel message shines a light on forgiveness. Peter asks Jesus just how often you need to forgive someone. He wants a number. Peter wants concrete data. He's already keeping score.

What you may not know is that Peter believed he was being very generous with his offer to forgive seven times. Rabbinic teaching stated that a person must forgive an offender just three times. This number was deduced from the opening chapters of Amos where a series of condemnations on the nations was interpreted to mean that God extends forgiveness three times and extends punishment on the fourth offense.

Peter's seven was, in his mind, going above and beyond the call. He doubled the law and added one for good measure. He probably expected to be patted on the back for his merciful and compassionate side. Instead, he was shocked into silence. "Not seven times, but seventy-seven times" packs a whole lot more punch when you know the backstory! In other words, Jesus was saying there is no limit to forgiveness.

This is a difficult concept for many of us to wrap our minds around. After all, isn't it hard enough to forgive once and forgive well.

Most of us can forgive and forget; we just don't want the other person to forget that we forgave ~ Ivern Ball

If you're like me, you've found yourself hanging on to the pain and suffering only to offer it up to the forgiven at a later date and time. Perhaps this is where we're called to remember the words we often mindlessly pray. We forget that they carry the ultimate lesson of forgiveness.

Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

The last line of today's gospel advises us, 'forgive your brother from your heart.' Maybe that's the secret. Our head holds on to the details; our heart is free to forgive. Forgiveness from the heart lets love fill the place where the hurt used to be.

What hurt you are holding in your heart? How much better off would you be to forgive and replace that pain with love?

Since forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change, don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time. ~Sara Paddison

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~Paul Boese