Misjudging Simon

I've been thinking a lot about Simon of Cyrene lately. You remember Simon. He's the guy standing by the side of the road who in the blink of an eye finds himself caught up in Christ's last moments on earth.

In the past, I have always imagined Simon's struggle as being one of getting involved. I've pictured him going about his business that day never considering the "wrong place, wrong time" kind of moment only hours or minutes away. I framed him as a spectator to life. Someone just hanging by the side of the road watching. I guess it has been this impression of him that's always made me judge him a bit harshly.

For some of us (for me), seeing someone struggle is like feeling real physical pain. I want to help. I need to fix everything. I don't want anyone to be lost and alone. I can't bear the injustice. This is especially true for someone I care about. I jump up and down on the side of the road and throw myself in front of the procession. I rip the cross away and chain it to myself. I can carry this forever, I announce.

How could this Simon guy just stand and watch? Why did he have to be forced into service? But a thought occurred to me recently. What if Simon was standing in that crowd wanting to be pulled in? What if compassion overwhelmed him and he just couldn't bear the thought of Christ's aloneness? Maybe he wanted to be noticed. Maybe he knew he would never be able to face himself if he walked away. Maybe I misjudged Simon. I've spent all this time labeling his struggle as taking the cross from Christ. What if his real heartache came from having to give it back?

That's a heartache I know too well. I don't want to let go. So I meditate on this Fifth Station of the Cross. I ask Simon for my lesson. What comes to me is that sometimes we are blessed with the privilege of helping one another. In those moments, we provide comfort and some relief. We allow for rest and encourage rebuilding of strength. But ultimately, this road we walk, we walk alone. Our cross is a private possession that cannot be given away, only shared for a time. It's okay to jump up and down on the side of the road and let someone know you are ready and willing to be his or her Simon. Just remember that in a little while, you'll need to face this weary friend and gently place the cross back.